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JOKES
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A
blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight
from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a
fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, and
politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a
few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game
is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question,
and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice
versa,"
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer,
now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer
you pay me $5.00 and if I don't know the answer, I will pay
you $500.00,"
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will
be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the
game. The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls
out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay,"
says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three
legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer, connects
his modem to the air phone and searches the net - no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers,
to no avail. After an hour he wakes the blonde, and hands
her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns
back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde
and asks," Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the
lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep! :-) |
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A man
gets his pay packet and discovers he's been paid an extra £100
by mistake. He says nothing and spends the money. Noticing the error
his employer decides to reclaim the money, but feeling it would
be unfair to take it all at once starts by deducting £25.
The man gets his money and is dimayed to see it is £25 less
than expected. He goes to his employer and complains. The employer
says:"How
come you didn't complain when you got an extra £100 last week?"to
which the man replies:"Look,
one mistake I can tolerate, but not two in a row!"
Three
men are sitting in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others
look at him questioningly."That's my pager," he says.
"I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."A few minutes
later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When
he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a
microchip in my hand."The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech,
steps out of the sauna and nips to the toilet. After a few minutes
he returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging over the back of
his towel. The others raise their eyebrows, questioningly."I'm
receiving
a fax."
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There
were
these five little pigs. The first two went into a bar.
The bartender asked, "What will you have?"
They said five beers.
They drank them, and asked, "Where is your bathroom?"
The bartender said down the hall.
Then the next two little pigs came in the bar.
"What will you have?" said the bartender.
"What did our two brothers have?"
The bartender said five beers. "We'll have ten beers."
They drank them. They asked, "Where is your bathroom?"
"Down the hall."
The last little pig came in to the bar. "What do
you want?"
"What did my brothers have?"
The bartender said the first two had five beers, the second
two had ten beers.
The lone little pig said, "Give me fifteen beers."
He drank them and started eating the peanuts off the bar.
The bartender said, "Don't you need the bathroom?"
The lone little pig said, "No, I'm the one that goes
'wee wee wee' all the way home."
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